Ted’s Jokes – The Christmas Edition

Three men die in a car accident on Christmas Eve. They all find themselves at the Pearly Gates waiting to enter heaven. On entering they must present something relating to or associated with Christmas. The first man searches his pocket, and finds some mistletoe, so he is allowed in. The second man presents a cracker, so he is also allowed in. The third man pulls out a pair of stockings. Confused at this last gesture, St Peter asks, “How do these represent Christmas?” to which the man answers, “They’re Carols.”

Q: Why is Santa so jolly?
A: Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.

Q: What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
A: RUDEolph.

Q: What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa?
A: A rebel without a Claus.

The 4 stages of life:

  1. You believe in Santa Claus
  2. You don’t believe in Santa Claus
  3. You dress up as Santa Claus
  4. You look like Santa Claus

Christmas Jokes

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