Puns – They’re pun-tastic!

I have decided to give away all my dead batteries today so if anyone wants them they are…… Free of charge

I had a weird dream last night that I was a muffler. I woke up exhausted.

I’ve got a very lucrative job clearing leaves. I’m raking it in.

I played poker with an origami expert last night that was a waste of time he kept folding!

I have a phobia of German sausages…not sure why but I just fear the wurst.

My friend said he’s going to set a new standard in pubs by opening one on the top of a mountain. I still think he’s raised the bar too high…

I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.

I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I’m OK, but I feel like I’ve dyed a little inside.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.

I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.

I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

Smaller babies may be delivered by stork but the heavier ones need a crane.

I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn’t help me.

The first time I used an elevator it was really uplifting, then it let me down.