Ted’s Joke – Faster than the speed of light

Four blokes were sitting in the pub having a few quiet ales when the conversation got around to speed.

“I reckon the fastest thing in the world’s gotta be a blink,” said one.  “ I mean, they reckon you blink all th’ time, an’ it’s that fast you don’t even notice.”

“Nah,” said one of his mates.  “ A thought is faster than a blink.  Before you think of anything, you’ve already thought it.  Can’t get faster than that, can you?”

“How about electricity?” the third man suggested.  “You go into a room, turn on the switch and bingo! Instant light.  Now that’s fast.”

“Yer all wrong,” the fourth an said.  “Fastest thing in th’ world is diarrhoea.”

“Come off it!” the other three sneered.  “How’d you work that out?”

“Well,” said the fourth man, “I had a big night last Friday.  Lot of beer, then finished the evening off in the local Indian curry house.  An’ when I woke up in the’ morning and climbed outa bed, and before I could blink, think, or turn on the’ light … I messed meself!!”


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