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Ted’s Joke – Horse hearing

The Lone Ranger was riding through the Wild West one day when he was ambushed by a band of wild Apache Indians.  He jumped off his faithful horse, Silver, drew his six-guns and began blazing away.  Dozens of Indians tumbled from their ponies, but eventually the Lone Ranger ran out of ammunition.  But he was far from helpless.

As the Indians rushed in to attack he whipped out his trusty Swiss Army knife, opened the bowie blade and began slashing and cutting and stabbing.  Indians after Indians went down, but the Lone Ranger was hopelessly out numbered and eventually, after a truly epic struggle, he was over powered and wrestled to the ground.  The Indians tore off the Lone Rangers clothes (but left him his mask, of course), spreadeagled him on the ground and tied him to four stakes.

They were just about to start using him for tomahawk practice when the chief held up his hand ordered them to cease and desist.

“You are a brave warrior,” he told the Lone Ranger, “and as testimony to your intestinal fortitude, we will grant you one last wish before you die.”

“Anything at all?” asked the Lone Ranger.

“Anything at all.” said the chief.  “Except your life, of course.”

So the Lone Ranger whistled for his faithful horse, Silver, and Silver, obedient and well-trained as always, came galloping up.  The horse bent its head down to listen to his mate’s voice, and the Lone Ranger whispered something in the animals ear.

The horse whinnied and galloped off, returning two hours later with a naked blonde.  The women slid to the ground beside the Lone Ranger and began doing the sorts of things you only read about in R-rated bookshops.  And a few more besides.

The Indians, who appreciated a good show when they saw one, stood around cheering and whistling and offering suggestions, until eventually the women fell into an exhausted sleep.  “You are a brave warrior, indeed,” said the chief.  “A man who can ask for a women in the face of death is a man among men.

“To honour your bravery, we shall grant you one more last wish”.

So the Lone Ranger, summoning up the last of his strength, whistled for his horse again.  And this time he whispered in his ear:  “Get it right this time, Silver…I said  POSSE…POSSE…”

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