Ted’s Joke – Indecent Proposal

There’s been a lot of fuss about that controversial movie Indecent Proposal, in which a wealthy man offers a million dollars to sleep with a bloke’s wife.

It’s an American movie, of course, and what the yanks don’t realise is that it’s based on a true story.  It actually happened right here in Oz.  Not quite like it is in the film of course, but like this:

Way back, around the turn of the last century, the parson in a certain county town had a very beautiful wife.  A real cracker, she was, the best looking Sheila in the district.

Now all the local blokes had tried their luck, but she just wasn’t interested, remaining faithful to her husband.  One of the blokes who fancied her was the wealthiest squatter in the district, and he was determined to succeed where everyone else had failed.  But he wasn’t having much success.  He showered her with gifts of jewellery and such, but she kept sending them back and she stoutly resisted all his advances.  So he decided to try a different approach.

He knew that parsons didn’t get much in the way of wages,  so he decided to use that basic business technique – a bribe.  “I’ll give you £1000 cash if you let me sleep with your wife for one night,” he told the parson.

Now in those days £1000 was a lot of money, and the parson, good man though he was, was sorely tempted.  “Let me think about it,” he told the squatter.  “I’ll pray for guidance and I’ll give you an answer tomorrow.”

The two men met the next day and the squatter was delighted when the parson told him he’d take the cash.  “Money up front, though,” the parson insisted.  “No worries,” said the squatter.  “I’ll be round at your place tonight with a thousand crisp ones for you.  Just make sure your wife’s in bed, ready and waiting.”

That evening the squatter fronted up at the parson’s house and handed over a bundle of money.  “Right,” he said, rubbing his hands in eager anticipation, “where is she?”  “She’s in bed,” said the parson.  “in the back bedroom, straight through there…..”

The squatter rushed through to the back bedroom, and sure enough, there was the parson’s lovely wife in the bed, waiting for him.  “You little beauty!” cried the squatter, ripping off his clothes and leaping into bed.  Just then the door swung open and in marched the parson, holding a loaded shotgun.  He sat down on the chair beside the bed, the gun pointed unwaveringly at the squatter.  “Right,”  said the parson.  “You paid me $1000 to sleep with my wife.  So start sleeping!!!


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