Ted’s Joke – The Bar Bet

This bloke’s in a pub, laying bets left, right and center.

First, he wins $10 from the barmen after saying he can “bite” his left eye.  So he’s taken out his glass eye and put it between his teeth.

Then he challenges the barmen to double-or-nothing if he can bite his right eye.  The barmen has seen him walk through the door and knows he’s not blind, so puts his money down.  The bloke wins it by taking out his false teeth and clamping them on his eyelid.

And he’s still not satisfied.

He tells the barmen: “I’ll tell you what, I’ll give you another chance to get your money back and throw in an extra $200.  I want you to fill a pot half-full of beer.

“Then stand at one end of the bar and slide it to the other end like they do in the old Westerns.  While it’s sliding down the bar I’ll run alongside, piss into the glass and fill it before it gets to the other end.”

The barmen’s eyes light up.  “You haven’t a hope. You’re on!” he says.

So everything’s ready.  The bloke has his pants down and the pub is crowded with spectators as the barman pushes the glass on its way.

And the bloke is dashing alongside, the drinkers are cheering and a spray of beer and urine is going everywhere.

When the glass reaches the end of the bar it’s less than half full, and the bar is awash.

The barmen shakes the bloke’s hand and says “No hard feelings.”

“No hard feelings,” agrees the bloke.

“But that chap over there has, ”he says, pointing to a geezer in the corner.

“I bet him $300 that I could piss all over your bar and you wouldn’t mind one bit!”

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