Ted’s Joke – The golden toilet

A bloke went to a party, where he had a marvellous time and got really sozzled.

He had no idea how he got home, but when he woke up in the morning he realised he’d lost his watch, a fancy timepiece that had been given to him by his father.

He’d obviously dropped the watch while at the party.  The only trouble was, he couldn’t remember the address of the house where the party had been held.

All he could remember was that the house had a green front door and a gold-plated toilet.

So he went wandering all over town, looking for houses with green front doors.  He found quite a few, too, but none of them was the right one.

Eventually, just as he was on the point of packing it in, he spotted another house with a green front door.

Empty stubbies and crushed cans littered the front lawn, a pair of trousers hung on a rose bush and a discarded bra lay on the path.  It looked like the right place.

The bloke knocked on the front door, which was opened by a dishevelled woman with red-rimmed eyes.

“Did you have a wild party here last night?” he asked.

“My Oath,” said the woman.  “Did we ever!”

“Well,” said the bloke, “I think I was here last night, and I think I lost my watch.  Have you found it?  All I can remember about the house is that it had a green front door and a gold-plated toilet.  Do you have a gold-plated toilet?”

The women stared at the bloke for a moment, then turned around and shouted down the hallway:

“Harry! Here’s the dirty bugger who peed in your saxophone last night!”


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