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Ted’s Jokes – Short and Curlies 4

A young businessman had just started his own firm.  He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.  Sitting there, he saw a man come in to the outer office.  Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.  He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.  Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, Can I help you?

The man said, “Yeah, I’ve come to activate your phone lines!”


“Please, dad, but what has fornication got to do with a wedding?” asked the little boy.

Dad was so taken aback he dropped his newspaper and almost spilled his beer.

“Why, it’s er…well, it’s….um….  Wherever did you hear a word like that?”

“Just now,” the little boy said.  “Mum was talking to sis about the wedding next week, and she said fornication like that we just have to have champagne!”


“Could you describe the expression on your husband’s face when you’re having sex?”  asked the marriage guidance counselor.

“Well,” said the woman, “the last time, it was sort of red and angry.”

“Really?” said the counselor.  “And when was this, exactly?”

“Last Wednesday afternoon,” the woman replied.  “When he was peering in through the bedroom window.”


A Curvy blonde sitting next to a young man at a bar was wearing an amazing pair of skin-tight pants with no visible zippers, buttons or hooks.

The young man leaned over and tapped the girl on the shoulder.

“Excuse me,” he said, “but how do you get into your pants?”  “Well,” said the girl, smiling sweetly, “you can start by buying me a drink.”

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